Bows, Snow, Flying Rats and Dirty Jokes

I haven't written a post about the weekend adventures of Le Kid and I in a while, if you hadn't noticed. There haven't been the normal number of outings because of this....

This what we call a winter storm in the South. My child has missed about four days of school out of the last two weeks for a handful of snow, not that we're complaining. We slept in, played a stupid amount of Just Dance (I finally made it to number in the World Dance Floor!), read over half of The Chamber of Secrets and watched easily 100 YouTube videos on raw food (while eating a block of cheese, of course.) Much fun has been had, but I'm not sharing a picture of me beating nine year olds around the globe at Just Dance no matter how much you beg.

So I had meetups and even a seminar cancelled because of snow! I started writing a blog post about how depressed the weather was making me, but I was too depressed to finish it! But, there was a reprieve in the winter storm this past weekend. It was still cold and gloomy, but I forced Le Kid to come out with me.

Dig those funky threads

Le Kid isn't always a willing participant in the whole arts and culture thing I'm always trying to get her involved in. Really, left to her own devices she would the endless loop of Disney Channel repeats until her eyeballs fell out of their sockets, which is she had been doing on Saturday morning for two hours already when I "strongly encouraged" (nagged and lectured) her to go to the American Girl Doll bow making party at a local library.

I was trying to pitch in, and I guess she didn't want me to so she told everyone my breath smelled like "frozen peas". Meanie.

A master bow-maker had brought really pretty ribbons, needles and thread, hot glue guns and serious bling to the event. Usually with kid crafts, the grown ups do most of the tricky stuff, but this instructor showed them how to make bows from start to finish. We learned a practical skill! She opted for an Angry Birds/ Minions combo. Le Kid was really proud of bow and has been wearing it every day.

"Was Mom right to make you come to the bow party?" I asked. I already knew the answer, but I just wanted to make her say it. I guess I'm a little mean, too!

My daughter didn't want to go to a play because she was watching Dog With a Blog. But the play was free (my favorite word) and had a mostly female cast, which is like Halley's Comet--something you aren't likely to see again in a lifetime. Le Kid didn't take too much coaxing. I told her she could wear one of her party dresses, and we were good to go.

The Odd Couple:The Female Version

Fayetteville Tech does several free plays a year. We went to Meet Me in St. Louis at the school before the holidays, and my daughter couldn't stop talking about it. She begged to see it again and again! You would expect that what is more or less community theater would have some pretty stilted acting, but you'd be wrong. There are some bad ass actors in this little city!

"It looks like our house"- Le Kid

The actresses were so pretty and yet so gritty and funny. Grown up movies and plays often send my child into deep slumber. (We went to see Exodus and my child was snoring when Moses was still in eyeliner and Egyptian panties.) I looked over at her during the second half of the play, and she was laughing;her eyes were glittering. She was into it!

The Odd Couple: The Female Version had some great jokes: "I saw milk standing in the fridge, and it wasn't even in the bottle." There were raunchy ones, too. They went over my kid's head for the most part, but if she caught a few, good for her. There was nothing I loved so much as dirty words and naughty jokes as a kid. Gee, have I changed so little? *Shrug*


Everything is about the kid. I "make" her do things she wants to do but is being lazy. ( I wish I had someone to do that for me.) I also "make" myself do things she wants to do, even when I feel lazy. She wanted to go to the park, even though it was freezing. It turned out to be too cold for her, but we stopped and fed pretzels, which was all we had in the car, to sea gulls at a pond.

They swarmed us and chased us back into the car, but I was clicking the camera button on my phone wildly, and I got some decent shots, despite my running and screaming.

Well, the snow is coming down hard now. A friend just called to tell me the roads were bad. Looks like I'll be house bound with a side of  "wish I were in Jamaica."

Are you under a pile of snow today? What are you doing this weekend?

Winter is My Kryptonite

Winter sucks:
Shame on me! I'm just now getting around to posting photos from Sunday. It's a miracle I do anything in winter. I feel like I'm in a hazy dream, half the time. If I were a computer, I'd be flashing the "low battery" warning. Do you guys feel as crummy in January and February as I do? Every year, in December, I try to formulate a plan to beat the winter blues. This year, I created Pamperary and Fabuary, two months devoted to spoiling myself. That lasted about a week. I'm just no good without sunshine. I have to consider winter a slate cleaner for happiness. Just one big eraser wiping all the joie de vivre away. It brings you down to a humdrum state of mind so when the sun comes bobbing along over the horizon, you really appreciate it.

Nature is my Sunday service
But I still manage to glean some happiness out of the two shittiest months of the year. Sunday, for example, I spent almost the whole day outside. It was about 50 degrees. I can deal with that. Sunday has long been designated my outdoorsy day. Not a lot of events are scheduled on Sunday; many stores are closed. It evolved to be my communion with nature time just because the Sabbath shuts the world down.

I spent last Sunday taking my dog for a walk. Actually, I let her walk herself. Winter really sucks for a dog with no back yard. Her strolls are 8 miles in the warm months and 8 yards in the cold ones. That's got to be tough for a creature who can't entertain herself with books and blogs and Netflix.

Disney break

My child seems content to lose herself in the ever repeating loop of kids shows on the Disney Channel. The shows are fairly harmless, but distort a kid's sense of reality quickly. Take it from a girl who thought like was going to be like "Saved By the Bell." (And maybe it is. I'm just more of a Screech than a Kelly.)


In the summer, all the kids in the neighborhood turn the neighborhood park into a summer camp. We bring snacks and crafts. It's great fun. But right now, my child has been spending much time in self-imposed seclusion with "Austin and Ally." So we decided to get a little exercise at a local trail/park.

There was the riding of scooter, the exploring of a stream, the taking of breaks, and climbing of playground equipment with a new friend. My camera was nearly dead so I only got a few shots. But we played until late afternoon. We planned on seeing an opera singer perform. I looked in the rear view on the way to the performance, and my kid was out like Neil Patrick Harris. (Does that play on words work? Maybe "Out like Ricky Martin? Out like Andersen Cooper? I really wanted to use Liberace here, but most people don't know who that is. Oh, for those of you who don't, let me educate you....This is the great Liberace.)

Life Concentrate. Add Two and a Half Days.

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Jobs happen. The parental well of fortune runs dry, you find yourself with a wailing bambino who makes your couchsurfing host twitchy, your student loan company tracks you down in San Jose or maybe you miss having more tshirts than fit in your stained up, old Jansport bag. A nine-to-five doesn't mean the death of adventures. Punching the clock just means you have to squeeze your travels into two and half days. You have to weekend hard. You can spend the day in your pjs, watching Netflix or you can climb a mountain. You spend the day vacuuming the floor of your Volkswagen or you can swim with porpoises. You can organize your sock drawer or... tour a winery, see a band, take a painting class, take a hike. Hell, anything is better than organizing your sock drawer!

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Someday, you'll realize you are winding up this ultimate journey. Do you think you'll have fonder memories of fishing trips with your kids or of eating a biggie-sized bag of Funyuns while playing Call of Duty in your underwear? Underwear days happen. During the winter, I consider taking a permanent hiatus to Granny Panty Land. But once in a while, we need to participate in life outside the front door. There are adventures out there. Ones worth putting on pants for.

 

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So that's my spiel. That's what I'm selling. Fun weekends for everyone! At "We Do Weekends," I'll share my weekend outings with you, tips and tricks on how I go places on a budget and deals that will help you get where you want to go!

So.... What are you doing this weekend?